Weird Ass Audition Notices: Volume I

From time to time, we all see the strange audition notice. "Seeking women 25-35 with bald patches" or "Looking for men with partial erectile dysfunction." Yeah, they're out there. So when an audition notice actually makes me stop in my tracks and think oh, man, I have to share this with my friends and blog readers, you know it's gotta be weird.

I occasionally scour good old Craigslist looking for auditions, despite the fact that there are a lot of scams on there and people looking to waste gullible actors' time. Sometimes there are actually legitimate auditions or background calls on there, though, so I look when I have the time. Today, though, I came across this audition notice that actually made me squirm in my seat:

Casting call for two female leads. Color 16mm thesis film

Asking for 18-25 yr old females to act in a Pratt student’s senior thesis film.
The film will contain on screen sexual intercourse and the actress must be willing to perform sexual acts on camera with male actors. 

The shoot will consist of two weekends in February. Shot on color negative 16mm (sync sound)
Compensation: non-paid, copy for reel, on set food and transportation to Brooklyn will be provided. 

Actors must be comfortable improvising, as this experimental narrative will be driven by intuition and actors cannot rely on script. It’s a creative nonfiction piece about two 21 yr old males writing science fiction stories and their two muses. The film will be about the creative process and show how they obtain the ideas in their stories as well as fever dreams of their stories coming to life. The film will contain new approaches to filmmaking and try to define a new space in the world of narrative. This will be a rewarding experience with unlimited creative potential. Think of it as a collaborative making of a 'Pink' science fiction film. 

No experience necessary, disease free mandatory.
This film will be submitted to festivals.
If you are interested please send a headshot and resume 


I feel dirty just reading that. Sure, I'll have sex on camera for no pay because it's *creative* and I'll get festival exposure! Umm...no, thanks.

We Promise: No Lost Underwear!

First off, let me apologize profusely for my extended blog absence. I have been a very bad blogger. Well, that's not exactly accurate. I have actually been a very good blogger as Miss-turned-Mrs. Star over at Weddingbee. Blogging 3-4 times a week for a site with such a large readership has been an amazing experience, but it's also a lot of pressure and very time-consuming. Hence, my big, gaping absence way over here at my modest little New York blog :)

We're married now, though (hooray!) and the wedding planning void is begging to be filled. I have time to get back to exploring this amazing city that I am so lucky to live in, and to look for funny, interesting, or random things in shop windows or stores that don't sell big, white dresses.

On my way home from an interview on the Upper East Side the other night, I couldn't help but giggle when I saw this cleaner's sign outside:

I've gotta be honest, the chuckle it gave me would be enough to get me in there if I lived in the neighborhood and needed some washing done! I'm all for advertisement that brightens my day.

I promise to stop neglecting my New York City blog from here on out, so stick with me, ladies and gents. I haven't shown you our new digs yet (yes, we are crazy and decided to move a month before the wedding!), and I'm getting up the nerve to blog about why we left our old place.

For now, I'll sign off, as one recent bride who really does love New York:

To My Reubie Kitty

This past week, I had to make one of the most difficult and emotional decision that a pet owner will ever make: the decision to put my 20-year-old family kitty to sleep.

He had overcome health issue after health issue in his long life, including kidney trouble, biting a poisonous lizard, and hyperthyroidism, but when faced with a possibly cancerous abdominal tumor, Reuben decided he had lived the life he wanted.

I have been wanting to tell him a few things, so humor me while I write him a letter and do my best to heal.

Dear Reuben,

I am so glad that I was able to hold you in your last hours and hopefully bring some comfort to your fuzzy, gray self. I know you were suffering immensely, which is why I made the decision I did. Believe me, if my own selfishness had won out, you might still be here with me right now. I'm pretty sure I made the right choice, but I suppose one can never be altogether certain.

In those final emotional moments, I said everything kind that I could possibly think of to try to remind you of how loved you were and still are. I told you how much we all admire you, how Mom loves you so much too, and what an amazingly good kitty you are -- the best I've ever known.

I wanted to be strong for you, but somehow the tears kept falling. I did the best I could to be your rock, Reuben, and I truly hope it helped. But there were things in those crazy last moments that I was feeling, yet couldn't put words to. I want you to know all of them, which is the point of this letter:

When I say you were the most amazing cat I've ever know, I'm not exaggerating one bit. After fostering kittens for almost a year, I was only more certain that you were oh-so-special. None of the other cats in this world can hold a candle to you, buddy. You had so many qualities to admire, and were so many things that many people can only aspire to. You loved everyone. Instantly. You were seemingly always wise. You were steadfast. You were firm, but kind. You were regal, but still humble enough to have silly fun. You were simply amazing.

You have been my rock for nearly my entire life, sometimes the only thing I felt to be a constant, and it's hard to imagine that the world has gone on turning since you left it. True, there are some things that are easier since you left: I have all the cream to myself and I don't have to worry about your stealthy door escape tactics. I feel a twinge of guilt when I realize that these parts of life are now simpler. But I tell you this quite honestly: I would never drink cream again if you could still be here. You know how much I hate milk in my coffee, but if I could always have your warm, gray, fuzziness in my life, I would never resent the cream of mine that you were slurping.

I also want to apologize for all of the times when I didn't treat you as well as you deserved. For the times when I accidentally stepped on your begging-for-food-in-the-kitchen self, for the times when I yelled at you for incessantly meowing in my face, and for every single time that I left and didn't hug and kiss you goodbye -- because I would give just about anything for a Reuben cuddle in this moment.

I'm so glad that Dan was lucky enough to get to know and love you in your last few months. I believe that you trusted him with me enough to let go. He keeps telling me that you'll always be around as long as I remember you and hold you in my heart, so now I just need to heal enough to be able to do that. They say that the more you loved, the stronger the grief. I definitely believe that after this weekend.

Mom suggested we get a potted evergreen tree and put it out on our balcony in your honor, so Dan and I did just that. It's a wonderful little tree, very strong and loveable, just like you. I put your collar out there on it so that a little piece of you can enjoy the "fresh" New York City air without having to be tied up for safety ;)

I placed it in a spot of honor and where I can see it from the couch. I will always think of you whenever I see the Reuben Tree.

In case you can't tell from this letter, I miss you ever so much, Reuben. I tell Dan that several times a day when I can't hold it in anymore. We both love you so much and promise that you will always be a part of our little family, as well as part of the family that is me, Mom, and Theo.

Visit me in my dreams every once in awhile, okay? Sometimes it gets scary in there and you never know when you're going to need a kitty to chase away the dinosaurs. To the moon and back, Reubie Kitty.

-Your Katie

Intolerance on the Megabus

Every discount bus line seems to have its horror stories. The Fung Wah is plagued by bus breakdowns and drivers being pulled over for traffic violations, Greyhound has creepers cutting off random people's heads, and Megabus, well, Megabus has passengers blithely reading pro-racial segregation and anti-caucasion faux-textbooks with such gems of wisdom as, "negroids should not mate with caucasians because the caucasian race is only trying to infect others with their leprosy." WHAT? What does that even mean?!?

I was able to snap a picture of the book he was reading after catching a few horrifying sentences. I guess the (caucasian) woman next to him didn't notice what he was reading because I saw them animatedly chatting later on. My only hope is that he was reading along in that book out of some morbid curiosity and was just as disgusted as I was.

In more pleasant news, I was recognized on the bus by two girls who read my blog! Hooray for random internet connection encounters :)

We Won Because You All Rock!

So the results of the New York Love Story film contest are in -- and we WON! We couldn't be more thrilled or more thankful to all of you for helping us win something so special. Your voting, tweeting, re-posting, and comments of support meant so much to us.

We can't wait to get started filming and share our hard work with you! It really is a dream come true for two actors getting married :)

Thanks also to Kat for hosting the contest and to Todd (whom we can't wait to meet!) for this incredible opportunity. Oh, and of course I can't forget the amazing Jenna of That Wife Blog, for finding the contest and pushing me to write our story for it!

Vote For Us To Win a Free Love Story!

Hi All!

We're one of the top three finalists in a contest at Rock 'n Roll Bride to win a free love story film about us and I'd love if you could swing on by there and help us out by voting for Kate and Dan!

VOTE FOR US!

Hope all is well with you NY'ers :)

There's a 10-foot tall chicken at my subway stop...

Nothing gets noticed like a man in an inflatable 10-foot tall chicken suit. Not only was he dressed like a chicken that was practically the size of the stay-puffed marshmallow man, but he was clucking and dive-bombing people as they walked by. Look at the fear in this lady's eyes as he went in for the kill:

It was pretty hysterical, actually. Either that, or I'm easily amused, because I sat there on a bench outside the subway station for a good ten minutes watching him chase people. I think he was advertising a fried chicken place, but I couldn't even tell you where.

The things you see in NYC :)

What $70 buys you in NYC

Got my groceries the other morning and as I unpacked all the bags onto my kitchen table, I was suddenly very sad. THIS is how much food $70 can buy you in Manhattan:

Not much, right? Pretty much just the bare essentials to get us through about 8-9 days at a time. It's a good thing we're both small people and light eaters!

Just in case you were wondering, there's a fruit and veggie stand on our corner, so that's why my grocery store purchases are light on the fresh stuff :)

Peek-a-boo

This just tickled my funny bone today:

I guess that makes me immature ;)

The Wonders of Wo Hop

I have to take a few minutes to share with all of you the magic of my favorite Chinese food: Wo Hop. 

Located at 17 Mott Street, two blocks downtown of Canal, this is simply the best Chinese food imaginable. The place is tiny, usually crowded, and the service is hurried (although that means you get your food FAST!), but it's worth every inconvenience. They're open 24 hours, and although I've never done it because it's too far from our place, I hear it's great 3 AM post-bar food. I personally want to be sober enough to remember every meal I have at Wo Hop. You can get a huge serving of delicious food for easily less than $10, which is practically a miracle in Manhattan. Make sure you go to the downstairs dining room for the true authentic experience. Cheesy headshots line the walls and make for great conversation starters. Truly, if you haven't been here, you haven't experienced New York yet, but that's just my opinion.

I always smile like this at Wo Hop. That's how good it is.

Check it out. Expect a skeevy diner-like ambiance and amazing, fast, cheap food.